The sex position described before can be almost like a meditation, where you do not move but simply focus on the energy flowing through your bodies.
For men who have a tendency to rapid ejaculation, this can be a good way of learning control, as there is less stimulation to cause increased arousal and ejaculation. you may eventually ejaculate anyway, but you will most likely find that you can keep the energy flowing for quite some time before there is any danger of this.
And, having said that, as always, there are no expectations and no pressures in this exercise, so whatever you feel (or don’t feel) is fine and requires only your acceptance, observation and possibly reflection back to your partner.
If you arrive at the time for your lovemaking with a sense of being rushed, or not relaxed, then this exercise can be a very good way of developing a connection before you actually progress on to normal intercourse.
Simply enjoy the experience for as long as you feel it is right, and then move on to your normal lovemaking positions and sexual experiences.
Remember the essence of archetypal energy flow – the lover wants to lose him or herself in another person (the most primal archetypal position is merging with another). The king wants to maintain control but be ascendant and connect with higher realms. The warrior wants to make something happen. And the magician wants to be in control and maintain safety. These archetypal flows will come and go during sexual intercourse.
You may choose to spend only a few minutes in this position, or you may want to spend a lot of time in it….. it all depends how you are feeling at the time, where your energy is when you start, and what you need sexually when you make love.
Of course, if you do get tired while you’re doing this, simply change position and lie back for a while before you begin again. Talk to each other, communicate with your partner, touch each other… whatever you feel moved to do. As I implied above, this position is all about establishing connection and trust.
Whatever form intimacy takes for you is the form it needs to take as you do this.
You’ll naturally move on to something different when try the exercise again. And of course, if you find it more comfortable, you can try the same exercise in a chair, with the man sitting facing forward and the woman astride him, holding his shoulders or the back of the chair.
Discovering More About Tantric Sex
You can try the next step of the process either alone or with your partner. The essence of the exercise is to self-pleasure to orgasm, but to do it with intention and focus, so that you are aware of more than just the physical pleasure and physical sensations you receive.
This is about being aware of the energy flows that lie behind your orgasm and ejaculation. You can see these as art of the complete archetypal flow of energy in your body. As you masturbate to orgasm, you can imagine the energy flow from your pelvic chakra going up your spine and into your body, and you can help this visualization by seeing in your mind’s eye a pump at the base of your spine pumping energy upwards as you reach orgasm and “release”.
With each muscular contraction you can see the pump working, and you can also clench your buttocks to enhance the sensations and the visualization.
As you do this, focus on the energy rather than the pleasure you are feeling. The ancient Tantric teachers suggested that self pleasuring was an excellent way to get in touch with the sensations of your body and its capacity to generate energy flow around the body.
This is something you now have the chance to experience for yourself. There is no particular prescription as to how you should pleasure yourself to orgasm – simply do it in the way that suits you best and which you find most enjoyable, but remember that the basis of this work is to learn more about the flow of sexual energy around your body.
If you’re a woman, think of the pump as being located in your vagina: as you go through the sensations of orgasm, repeatedly contract and relax (i.e. pump) the muscles of your vagina, and as you do so, imagine that the energy is being pumped along your body at the front (men imagine this going up the spine).
It’s always a good idea to open your chakras before you start so that the energy flow will take place more readily, and there is a prepared, open pathway for the energy flow to move along.
And don’t believe stories you may have heard about Kundalini being dangerous. This is untrue, as the energy will only move at the pace that is right for you and which your body can handle. According to how satisfying, interesting and enhancing of your sex life you find these exercises, you may choose to continue, stop or put them on hold for a while. You are always in control of all your energy flows, sexual, archetypal or emotional.
Or are you? The Tantric experts have always known that that passion can strike without warning from time to time, and this may well happen to you and your partner at some point as you practice these exercises. If so, there is no harm in giving way to your passion.
While the focus is on sexual spirituality and learning more about your body’s capacity for enlightenment, there is no harm in allowing the more earthly pleasures of rumbustious sex to take precedence from time to time!
Above all, don’t take this too seriously. It’s not a religious rite or a trial of self-discipline. The ancient Tantric practitioners would have whole-heartedly agreed that fun and pleasure were an equally essential and valuable part of the human sexual experience.
If you’re going to do this with a partner, take it in turns. First of all have the man stimulate the woman while she relaxes and enjoys the sensations of the sexual energy flowing through her body.
You can go all the way to orgasm if that’s what you want to do: when she reaches orgasm, she should focus on pumping her sexual energy as previously described.
After her orgasm, she can focus on the energy flow around her body; when she’s satisfied that she’s gained as much insight into her sexual experience as possible, she can return the favor for her male partner.
It may take a few attempts before you become truly attuned to the energy flow. It may take a little longer for you to learn how to promote the flow of energy around your body during sex. But the great thing about these exercises is that you can truly enjoy them while you practice!
Couples sometimes like to try pleasuring each other simultaneously. This isn’t a bad idea, but it is a little impractical in the context of these exercises.
Mutual pleasuring can be distracting – you have to focus on both your own energy and that of your partner as you approach orgasm. So best leave that until you have a little more practice and you’re a little more aware of the energy flow as you reach orgasm. (A good chance to practice warrior archetype boundary setting!)
An interesting variation on the theme is for you both to sit with your backs against each other as you both self pleasure to orgasm. When you reach orgasm, try the “pump” technique: and see if you can feel your partner’s energy rising as you feel your own. Remember that if you don’t feel anything, it isn’t important – your awareness will develop at the right rate for you!